Just Call Me “Bubble Girl”

Warning: The following post contains language you might find offensive and probably isn’t appropriate for kids, unless you are raising sailors. You’ve been warned, so don’t go gettin’ your knickers in a knot.



Sometimes I wish I could be a Vulcan…feelings are just so illogical, aren’t they? At the very least, they sure can be inconvenient.

I feel all the feels, all the time. I give a fuck…lots of them, actually. You could say that I’m a prostitute of feelings. I grow weary of the feels and getting my feelings hurt. I’m…

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What do Eleanor Roosevelt and West Virginia have in common?


No, the title isn’t a joke…and for the love of gravy, please don’t tell me you hear “Dueling Banjos” right now, either.

First things first for all you nit-pickers out there, it isn’t Tuesday. I know it says “Trash Talk Tuesday” because that is how I initially set up the blog, but I’ll be honest with y’all…I simply CANNOT wait until next Tuesday to share some incredibly exciting news with you!

So…what do Eleanor Roosevelt and West Virginia have in common? You know, Eleanor Roosevelt, First Lady and wife to FDR? Still…

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2nd Anniversary Nailed It!! Contest and Giveaway

2nd annv kevin bacon

Hey y’all! The Sassy Trashionista turned 2 this month, and I wanted to do something a little quirky and fun to celebrate this milestone.

Did I mention fun? Fun is kind of important to me. That and not taking myself too seriously {this will crystallize for you shortly}.

Inspiration is a really interesting thing, at least for me. It can come from so very many different places.

Pinterest is definitely one of the resources I turn to on a regular basis for some eye candy. To be honest, I probably…

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Can I get real for a minute?

Since my last blog post, I have been having more than my fair share of Stuart Smalley moments.

For the first time since I started the blog, I lost followers after a post.

Apparently, you can’t mention Jesus and truck stop tittie bars in the same paragraph without people gettin’ their knickers in a knot.

I’ll just bet that if I were a man, it wouldn’t have offended as much.


At first I was bothered…it was not as if what I had written was…

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Headphones and Hoecakes


It’s been a few weeks since the family returned from our summer vacation and as is the norm ‘round these parts, things have been busy, y’all.

I’ve been meaning to get this post written much sooner, but as my jewelry business continues to expand, I have found that I have less and less time for writing. Everything is a balance, right? I have made the decision to no longer refer to myself as a writer, because writers, well…they write, right? I’m more of a random storyteller these days, and right now…

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No, you didn’t read that wrong. I’m good at forgiving, I’m just not very good at being forgiven.

I typically post stories about the funny and ridiculous things that happen in my life, peppered with a few pieces of sentimentality. Today is a bit different.

As someone who spent the majority of her life in emotionally and verbally abusive relationships, I have a big no-no when it comes to what I now expect from others. Unkind and intentionally cruel words will not be tolerated.

I broke my…

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We live in a world of technology, and as much as I try to deny it while I’m harvesting glitter here on the Unicorn Ranch, it has become an inescapable part of our daily lives. Try as I might to fight it, (I bore the kids to tears with stories of rotary phones and record players – we still have a working 1950’s Decca record player, complete with albums from my childhood and an ever-growing collection of Flatt & Scruggs LP’s) there is no denying that it has become necessary,…

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greta 2

First things first, as I’ve not posted in over 2 months, I think a formal apology is in order.

Dear blog,

Please allow me to take this opportunity to apologize to you. You have been a good friend to me this past year….you have allowed me to share my passive-aggressive feelings without confrontation of any kind, and for this I am truly grateful. We have laughed and cried together and you’ve helped me to grow as an individual and discover a lot of things I had long forgotten about myself. You…

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25 at 40


So my self-prescribed one week hiatus from technology turned in to a little over a month.

Allow me to explain why. Upon our return from vacation (which, by the way was fantastic – there are stories and pictures of majestic, free roaming horses, making stoves out of hollowed out tree stumps and being chased by wildly territorial billygoats to come, I promise) I found out that the company I worked for was closing up shop and that I would be losing my job.

Officially unemployed, with my 40th birthday looming, I felt…

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You know what I’m talking about, right? For instance, the way your husband thinks your rump will look in a thong (fantasy) versus the fact that you know your rear end is going to swallow that mother faster than you can say howdy (reality)…..Or the way you’ve convinced yourself that Spanx are awesome (fantasy), and that various bits of your body won’t look like sausage spilling out of its casing (reality). Just for instance.

This became painfully apparent to me the winter I became completely obsessed with owning a pair of…

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