Getting B*tch Slapped by the Universe

night-2594984_1920

 

Boy, oh boy…we humans can take ourselves just a little too seriously at times, can’t we?

Allow me to explain…

Several months ago, I took a huge leap and submitted by work for publication consideration. This was a big step forward for me, and it was something that I have been dreaming about doing for years.

Much to my delight and astonishment, I was quickly contacted by the Editor of the magazine, went through the selection process and received a letter of congratulations stating that my work and feature article had been chosen for the Autumn 2017 issue.

Whaaaaat?!!!

For someone who is shocked by very little in this life, you could have easily knocked me over with a feather.

Fast forward several months {it’s a long process}…

Yesterday I ran across {ok, not gonna lie here, I’m not the most patient person and it was more of a stalking situation} the table of contents for the issue online. I frantically and excitedly scanned it, and there it was…nothing. I was nowhere to be found.

Deflated and confused, what immediately followed was a series of emails back and forth to the Editor, with her most profound apologies. My article had been bumped to the next issue, and the notice had been sent to the wrong email address. What immediately followed after that was one ENORMOUS pity party, with a single guest: Me.

We get so caught up in the details of our day to day lives. We complain about bills, work, kids, etc., etc., etc. and attach our happiness to people, things and events that we sometimes inflate ourselves and our needs to a ridiculous level of grandiosity at a steep cost: our joy. Everything feels large and looming and what we tend to forget is how incredibly temporary everything is.

In my excitement of looking forward to this one single event, {which truth be told still is very important to me} I had hitched my wagon of happiness to it and was blind to all of the everyday things that should bring me joy…and when I found out that one thing wasn’t going to happen when I thought it was, that happiness went “poof!” and disappeared in to thin air.

Right now, you are shaking your head, because I am sounding like a selfish, spoiled, ungrateful brat. You know, like a 3 year old. You aren’t the only one who thought so.

That’s when the Universe decided to bitch slap me in the face. Hard.

Last evening while driving my oldest son home from work {which I try not to complain about, but it isn’t always convenient and takes 2 hours out of my day, 5 days a week} he received the sobering news that his best friend, who was diagnosed with cancer a few months ago, was told by doctors that they had exhausted all of their treatment options. He has been told he only has weeks left. He is in his early twenties.

The lump in my throat grew, and the tears welled up in my eyes. And all of the sudden, I felt very, very small. The events of my day that I had previously given so much weight, now felt intensely irrelevant.

We get so caught up in the details of our day to day lives. We complain about bills, work, kids, etc., etc., etc. and attach our happiness to people, things and events that we sometimes inflate ourselves and our needs to a ridiculous level of grandiosity at a steep cost: our joy. Everything feels large and looming and what we tend to forget is how incredibly temporary everything is.

The fact is, I didn’t wake up next to my son’s bed this morning, wondering if today would be the day that he would take his last breath on this earth.

If that doesn’t make you feel small my friend, I don’t know what will.

I’ll bet his mama would give anything in the world to know that she will be taking 2 hours five days a week to drive him back and forth to work.

I have never felt so small, and truth be told, that’s exactly what I needed. I needed to be reminded that – as much as we may try to ignore the facts – nothing is as big a deal as we make it out to be and that everything is so very, very temporary. We need to have gratitude for the good, the bad, the ugly and everything in between…because nothing lasts forever. Not feelings, not situations, not people…and you never know what today will bring.

We are each so very small in the grand scheme of things, and I honestly believe we need to feel this small in order to become vast and expansive. It seems counter-intuitive, and yet this is how it is, at least for me.

I want to be vast and expansive. I want to be and feel grateful and compassionate, understanding and tolerant.

And I think you do, too.

We get so caught up in the details of our day to day lives. We complain about bills, work, kids, etc., etc., etc. and attach our happiness to people, things and events that we sometimes inflate ourselves and our needs to a ridiculous level of grandiosity at a steep cost: our joy. Everything feels large and looming and what we tend to forget is how incredibly temporary everything is.

Please join me in holding space for this young man and his family while he transitions.

Please be vast and expansive.

Peace, love and blessings to all…

April