i am brave 

  i am unique 

  i am light 

  i am wild and free 

  i am so much more 

The Amish Football League

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As I may have mentioned a time or two, I am random. Random thoughts, random conversations, etc. etc. etc…..

A few weeks ago, as I was watching an elementary school basketball game, my companion and I struck up a conversation about kids and sports. More specifically, how times have changed (yes, I sound sound ancient and nostalgic) and that kids don’t play sports the way they used to. I don’t mean to say that kids don’t participate in sports, only that they don’t play sports. They play video games. Except for…

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THE INFAMOUS F*@KER BIRD…..

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It has been over a month since my last post, much to my chagrin. Between the holidays, winter break for the kids, school and moving, things have been hectic to say the least. I am the proverbial headless chicken right now. This should be a Trash Talk Tuesday topic, but rather than wait until next Tuesday to post, I am taking advantage of yet another (thank you, Old Man Winter) snow day at home with the children.

I hate moving. It is an enormous pain and it seems to take forever….

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TRASH TALK TUESDAY

RANDOM THOUGHTS AND POTATO PEOPLE

Having a conversation with me is the equivalent of either:

  1. Being kidnapped, blindfolded and stuffed in to the trunk of a car, or
  2. Buying a one way ticket to Randomville. You expect the train to go in a certain direction, but once you board you are taken through a series of twists and turns and side excursions. You end up at your final destination, but you have no effing clue how you got there.

Neither option really sounds like a good one. Hold on kids, it’s going to be a bumpy ride. Ahem.

And so I have found it…

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KNOWLEDGE SPEAKS, BUT WISDOM LISTENS

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KNOWLEDGE SPEAKS, BUT WISDOM LISTENS ~Jimi Hendrix

Ani Di Franco extolled the virtues of having more flavors than Baskin Robbins, and Meredith Brooks made “Bitch” the theme song of every lady trying to do her thang in the late 90’s, much to the chagrin of those unable to move beyond the title of the song itself and really listen to the lyrics. Man, people do get hung up on words, don’t they?

What these two fine ladies were trying to say was “I am more than what you see,”…

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GLUTTON WITHOUT THE GLUTEN or THE ART OF ADAPTATION

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My people love their gluten. Biscuits, gravy, cakes, pies, deep fried everything. Have you ever been to the county or state fair? I have three words for you. Deep. Fried. ________(fill in the blank).  Popular choices include Twinkies, Oreos, Macaroni & Cheese or Pickles. Yes indeedy, country folks like to use gluten in pretty much everything they eat. Show me an Appalachian woman without her Granny’s biscuit or fried chicken recipe and I’ll promptly reply, “you ain’t no hillbilly, lady.”

This would all be well and good, except for one small…

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JUSTICE STINKS

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No, not justice for the people or any of that. This is not a human rights or political post. I’m talking about Justice for Girls. If you have a daughter between the ages of 6 and 14, you know all too well what I’m referring to. Groan…..receiving that in the mail makes my stomach churn almost as much as the day the American Girl catalog shows up. $100 for a doll?! Are you flipping kidding me? At any rate, back to Justice….

About a month ago we received the latest catalog,…

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Costumes…They’re Not Just For Halloween Anymore

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I wear a lot of jewelry – and the bigger the better. Flavor Flav’s got nothing on me.

My oncoming approach could never be described as stealthy….it’s probably more akin to that of a heavily belled cat. In other words, subtle is probably not a word that would be used to describe me…..choice in jewelry or otherwise.

Coco Chanel is quoted as saying “once you’ve dressed, and before you leave the house, look in the mirror and take at least one thing off.” Ha! Coco Chanel obviously knew  fashion, that is probably…

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Deconstructing the Dress

 

CYMERA_20131018_121504Awhile back (ok, a couple of years ago) I ran across this amazing beaded dress at the thrift store. Allow me to clarify: the beadwork was fabulous. The dress? Not so much….imagine if you will a Mrs. Roper mumu with a ton of really intricate beadwork, definitely circa late 70’s early 80’s. The parts were definitely greater than the sum in this case.

At any rate, I knew it had future fabulousness written all over it so I snatched it up, brought it home and immediately…..put it in to a Rubbermaid…

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Pigs Can Fly….or Reclaiming Your Creative Self

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“That will happen when pigs fly!”

At some point in your life you have probably heard this phrase. Unless of course, you are an 8 year old, at which point the phrase will need to be explained at great length….trust me on this one.

With this phrase, someone is telling you that something is never going to happen. Ever.

But have you ever looked at it from the pig’s perspective? What if that pig WANTS to fly? Dreams of it even?

Pretend for a moment that you are a daydreaming porcine named Icarus. Your…

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